“Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” — Thomas Jefferson
“To be or not to be; that is the question.” So speaks Hamlet in his famous soliloquy of self-doubt and reason. If you remember, he is trying to decide whether to follow his own conscience or to pretend that he does not know the truth of his father’s murder. He is torn by the desire to be honest with himself and therefore, the world, or to turn his back on that which he believes. Sometimes in our own lives, we may find ourselves in variations of this peculiar predicament. Not quite as melodramatic as Hamlet’s, yet just as real for us.
“Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom,” Thomas Jefferson wrote. This statement rings out a great truth for people everywhere in every period of the world’s history. The fight to honor truth within and without may not be an easy one, but our efforts must be directed in the line of honesty and integrity if we aim to be truly successful.
“Know thyself” is the inscription of the Delphic Oracle of ancient Greece. “Hold faithfulness and sincerity as first principles,” Confucius wrote, “When you know a thing, to hold that you know it; and when you do not, to allow that you do not know it – this is knowledge.” Lao Tzu wrote over 2,500 years ago, “He who knows others is wise,’he who knows himself is enlightened.”
These great philosophers and sages began with one truth – be honest and “all things will be added unto you.” They understood that people share the same basic drives: a need for love, for freedom and respect, and the desire to feel as if their lives have meaning. By looking within, the keys to understanding human behavior can be revealed if you are courageous enough to search your innermost heart.
But how many of us know where that heart is? How many of us have fallen into the habit of being out of touch with what we intuitively know? Often this seems to be the most true when we apply it to knowing our own feelings. The noisy hustle and bustle of the outer world can distract us so much that we have a hard time listening to that still, small voice that usually knows the truth of any situation.
In Hamlet, Shakespeare says, “This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.” Yet, not listening regularly to the intuitive voice within, we may fall out of practice. It can then become easier to be false to ourselves – and then to others without this being out intent.
Thomas Jefferson wrote as follows in a letter to one of his contemporaries: “He who permits himself to tell a lie once, finds it much easier to do it a second and third time, til at length is becomes habitual. He tells lies without attending to it, and truths without the world’s believing him. This falsehood of the tongue leads to that of the heart, and in time depraves all its good dispositions.”
Jefferson tried to be as far-sighted as possible so that a nation of honest men and women would endure. “Sometimes it is said,” he wrote, “that a man cannot be trusted with the government of himself. Can he, then, be trusted with the government of others?” A compelling thought when we extend it beyond our small personal world. But what is any nation made up of, except the entwining of many people’s small worlds? How often have we read in the newspapers of injustices in our own cities and towns, and shrugged? What can we do? How can we make a difference? Truth isn’t our jurisdiction. Or is it?
One important thing you can do is get into the practice of being honest with yourself and others at all times. When we disconnect from our feelings to avoid a scene or to appear “cool,” we often silence the voice within. We may silence truth. After a while we may no longer hear its voice. This may be one reason why there seem to be so many busy psychologists and psychiatrists in today’s world. We may be paying to learn how to reconnect to our own inner promptings.
Begin today. The following exercise can offer meaningful insights into yourself. Take a sheet of paper and divide it into two columns. On one side write down the things you like about human nature – the things you honor. You may write down qualities like tenderness, strength, humor, diplomacy, love, or hard work. Whatever comes to mind. Then, in the other column, write down those qualities that you may find offensive – the ones that may “push your buttons.” In this column you may write down anger, laziness, deception, cowardice, brutality, or jealousy.
Then take a look at both columns. In total truth, claim them both. Name the aspects of honorable character as you see them in yourself. Find where they may resonate with you. And recognize which, if any, need to be strengthened and worked on. Take the undesirable column and address these items. Recognize that you have smidgings of these characteristics in some small measure, even if they may be hidden from the sight of most people. Acknowledge them for the times when they arise. Do not deny them utterly, or they could creep up on you as the disowned enemy in yourself – sometimes coming only in the guise of the people that you draw to you, because they are denied within.
Be honest. Be true. Love all parts of yourself. You are human, and, like the rest of us, the goodhood within you – the goodness within you – is in a state of coming to magnificent expression. With honesty and free will you can claim those aspects of yourself that choose you to express in your world.
There is a part of you that can be larger than any littleness, stronger than any weakness, wiser than you may think, and more brave than any fear. There is a part of you that is of the earth – earthy, as there is also a part of you that is of the Spirit – spiritual. This is the important part of you. That which is the real of you can transform the unreal. Be honest with yourself and others. Learn to know your real self.
